Norman Cook
David Guetta
The Cuban Brothers
Norman has quiet a reputation for putting on a good party for the people of Brighton. The first two Beach Boutiques caused havoc with the second resulting even in deaths. So what had he got whipped up for us this time? No more sunshine, no more boats and a financial killing for the catering industry. Alas we shan’t concentrate too much on the commercialism of what should be a free event for the people of Brighton.
On Arrival many were tested with Ion Track devices, those machines we’ve raved about in the past that tell the cops if you’ve been burning up a crack pipe on the way down. A good idea in theory, sure, yet is it really suitable in a society where 90% of money in public circulation has traces of cocaine. Even a 9 year old girl (little Cindy Pipkin) could be found positive for gak. “Honey, get your fucking ass off to boarding school” shrieks the father. On a more positive note, the evening went by with not even one drug related arrest.
The Cuban Brothers were on first with their wacky, crazy, bunch of bullshit act they try to sell as comedy. Not a single laugh. This point was a great time to go and booze queue with everyone just to get away from it. That should kill some time? After all we all really want some cider (which they sold out off) don’t we. Most of us had to resort to drinking 330ml cans of Heineken. Why the fuck do you need to open them for us?? You buy as many as you can to save queuing times and they fuck you completely with a handful of open cans. What a pointless process to go through.
A few beers consumed and it’s soon time Mr. Guetta to take the stage. Now it’s not unknown for DJ’s for indorse products, and hell why not put some experience into designing a new mixer for example. DJs have and will keep putting their own touches to their kit… not so with David (ball bag) Guetta. This is the only man we know of who has put his experience into hair products. Sell me a record bag sure, even some carts, but fucking hair products? Any self respecting professional would not allow himself to be dragged down, on TV may I add. Camply dancing, poofing his hair while another man squirts water over his own sweaty gay head. Now don’t get me wrong I am in no way anti-gay, in fact I know many gays, but am I alone in saying it’s all just a bit too bent? There must be a limit! Guetta played many tracks which featured on his “Fuck Me I’m Famous, international” mix. A man whose career is based on cheese offered us royal chart spunk. Bob (yaaawn) Sinclair and Guetta’s own tracks such as “The World Is Mine”, oh and don’t forget his reworking of the Egg (yeah the dancing Citroens). In his defense he was supposedly working off only one CDJ. Still didn’t mean he should constantly turn the music down to tracks the crowd doesn’t even know the words to.
After a good soaking Norman takes to the helm. If you think about it, Norms a big part of Brighton. And as a worldwide superstar (horrid term) DJ it’s great for him to be so dedicated to our little town/city whatever. He starts off his set with Fedde Le Grand’s – put your hands up for Detroit (ehh Brighton). Easily one of the most annoying tracks of 2006, yet ironically not a bad way to see in 2007 as the crowd seemed to love it. As always he played many of his signature tracks like Praise you and Fucking in heaven. Nice tracks okay… but honestly, when anyone rapes Cream tracks with a dirty Hoxton brush then a tear pours from the eye of every fan. The thing with Norman Cook is, he’s not the worlds best DJ, fuck it he’s not even that good. Mistakes are made yet at the same time the man can really make a party move. It’s innocent music, fun, uplifting and easy to dance to. And in the end that’s great for a good family show. Good job mate.
Put on another one and we shall come. Over all it was great fun. Great wet fun.
£30 on the other hand is an arse rape. £30 x 20,000 + food, drink etc… you work it out.
Why is David Guetta such a twat?
Click here to see the L’Oreal advert. It’s party proof right
Track listing:
1.INTRO
02.FREEDE LE GRANDE VS FBS – PUT YOUR HANDS UP FOR FATBOY SLIM
02.FATBOY SLIM – RIGHT HERE RIGHT NOW (Redanka’s 66 vocal)
03.CONAMORE – I’VE GOT THIS FEELING
03.SWITCH – A BIT PATCHY
04.SAGAT – LUV STUFF
05.HOXTON WHORES VS CREAM – SUNSHINE OF MY LOVE
06.FATBOY SLIM – ROCKAFELLA SKANK (interlude)
07.HOXTON WHORES VS CREAM – SUNSHINE OF MY LOVE
08.RICHARD DINSDALE – WALLOP
09.OLIVER MOLDAN – GROOVE IS IN THE HEART
10.BAD PIMPS – HIT ME
11.ONEPHAT DEVA – IN & OUT OF MY LIFE
12.ARMAND VAN HELDEN – MYMYMY (ASHLEY BEEDLE MIX)
13.THE BOY LEAST LIKELY TO – MONSTERS (ARMAND VAN HELDEN MIX)
14.MASON – EXCEEDER
15.GORILLAZ – FEEL GOOD INC. (STANTON WARRIORS MIX)
16.DAB HANDS – DYOT (TYRRELL’S MIX)
17.FATBOY SLIM – LOVE ISLAND
18.STRAY CATS – RUMBLE IN BRIGHTON
19.ARCTIC MONKEYS – WHEN THE SUN GOES DOWN (KARL G MIX)
20.BLACK BEAST – CHECK IT OUT
21.AUTOMATICS – MONSTER (FATBOY SLIM REMIX)
22.MAX ROMEO VS PRODIGY – CHASE THE DEVIL OUT OF SPACE
23.GORRILAZ VS FATBOY SLIM – DIRTY GANGSTER
24.FATBOY SLIM VS BEYONCE – CRAZY PRAISE
DOWNLOAD THE MIX AT THE FOLLOWING ADDRESS. WE MUST STRESS WE DID NOT MAKE THIS RECORDING, SOMEONE SENT US THE LINK. NOT OUR SHIT.
http://www.megaupload.com/?d=3FX7PVPH
Words: Marek the Czech
on Oct 7th, 2008 at 9:54 pm
Just to correct you Amy it was Mariah not Beyonce! And if that wasn’t boogieing then I don’t know what is.
on Oct 7th, 2008 at 9:54 pm
Was it Mariah? Dear Jesus, my memory of the night keeps getting shabbier by the minute. I knew it was some sort of bourgeois crap. People, don’t hang out with Editor of BF :)
on Oct 7th, 2008 at 9:54 pm
Well said Amy. I didn’t go, but all reports, it was overhyped, too expensive and pissing it down with rain. But hey, the weather is usually so good on New Years Day. Ah well at least it will mean that Skint will carry on releasing (some) good music for the foreseeable future…
on Oct 7th, 2008 at 9:55 pm
I would suggest that some people are being a little hard on Fatboy…For a start the reason the gig took place on NYD was to discourage lots of out of town gate crashers turning up. The weather was obviously out of his control. The gig had large portacabins with heating for people to warm up. Everyone who bought a ticket knew what they were letting theselves in 4. Maybe it was a little expensive but compared to prices some clubs have charged in the past for NYE with no big names it doesn’t compare too bad. FBS himself seems to genuinely love Brighton and whatever your musical taste you got to admit that Big Beat Boutique at the original Concorde was one of the best nights Brighton has ever hosted. The previous beach parties were free parties for local people- one thing FBS & organisers were guilty of is not have the foresight that half of the South of England would fancy it. He also gave a huge sum out of his own pocket to aid the clean up and has given money to our local football team.